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I Hate Being Misunderstood

February 19, 2012

(copied from an email to a friend)

and I cannot believe that you read so much of my material, and yet still do not understand me. I am staggeringly confounded by it. it makes no sense. I would have thought you would have understood me by now. you’ve had all the resources in the world. you had an amount of data that no one, ever in the history of the world, has ever had access to. I have been more forthcoming about who I am and what I’m about, than anyone else in the history of the world, and you, who took a personal interest in getting to know me and actually reading my writing, had read a great amount of that material. Much of the more important writing was communicated via email as well, so there is no way you could have missed who I am.

It just does not make any sense. Nothing makes any sense. I made no mistakes, I was transparent, I was honest, and I was pure. How you could have misunderstood anything is something I cannot understand. Yet you more than misunderstood, after all of that, you failed to understand some of the most basic, fundamental things about me.

Most of what you “understood” about me are facts that I communicated in the very beginning when we first met, and haven’t reflected any part of who I am for more than 5 years, and this lack of relevance was clearly reflected in my lack of interest in it in my writing. I have written maybe 1, 2 posts at most about my aunt, and yet you focused on her, even though she had nothing to do with anything at all, hasn’t since 2005, perhaps not even since 2004.

I don’t get it, don’t understand how you could have so terribly misunderstand me. this is probably the biggest mystery I’ve ever encountered, and there is nothing I hate more than being misunderstood. I was going to say “I hate you at first”, but not only would that be wrong, it would be inaccurate. but to me, everything about you upsets me, because as the one who has misunderstood me the most when I did everything I could to ensure that you understood me well, you still, defying all logic, misunderstood me completely.

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