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Self-efficacy

October 27, 2011

For some people, happiness is perhaps a pursuit in itself; the notion that everyone has a “right” to be happy has so permeated modern society, that many even go so far as to consider the prioritization of happiness as common sense. But as for me, I cannot be happy unless my life is meaningful, productive, and above all self-efficacious.

I need to know that I have made a definitively positive influence on the world, and that the contributions I’ve made are unique to my character and have made full use of my merits as an individual; it is a daily struggle I must hold myself accountable to each day, as I ask myself “have I made effective use of my gifts, passions, skills, knowledge, and personal character to make lasting contributions to the world?”

Almost every day since I have been alive, the answer to this question is “No, I have not done enough”; after all, there has not been even one day since I’ve been alive that I have done as much as I could to live life to my fullest, and I have continually short-changed everyone (and especially myself!) in regards to the use of all that I am towards the important things in  life. I have these amazing gifts, and priceless insights, and my life has been wasted in comparison with all that I could be, do, and inspire in the world.

With each day, every minute, and with every breath that I am alive, it should be to manifest all that I am, and all that I was created to be. So that I do not insult the God from which I emanate, the people by which I am influenced, the soul from which I originate, it is crucial that I live life to the fullest, and make contributions proportionate to what I am capable of.

Jesus said in one of his parables, “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” I have been given so very much in this life I have been given, so it is my responsibility, my duty, and my honor to produce a life worthy of these merits, and to pass on these blessings to the world which has made everything that I have done, and will do, possible in the first place.

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