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Following My Heart pt3: Knowing Myself

September 24, 2011

I’ve been fairly productive lately, but one thing I haven’t been doing enough of, now or throughout the rest of my life, is following my heart. I’ve analyzed myself, sought to determine the best course of living, and experimented to no end what I could do, should do, and what I can expect to accomplish within this life I’ve been given. I decided “I don’t know what I want, so what’s the point in doing what I want?” So with that mindset driving me, I searched not for a life of happiness, but of accomplishment. I thought that, if I can’t enjoy life, I should at least do something meaningful.

But now I realize that a life of meaning and fulfillment, and a life of happiness, that these are really just two different ways of looking at the same thing; more importantly, I now realize that my life can be neither meaningful nor happy unless my heart’s in the right place, and my motivations are pure. For this reason, it’s essential that as I go through each day, that my actions be that of one who is following his heart.

The meaning of life can be subdivided into three main components of the self, each of which are the products of three questions, and correspond to the three elements that comprise the Freudian self:

Motivation (why?) [present]; The Id.

Direction (where?) [past]; The Ego.

Resolve (how?) [future]; The Super Ego.

The first of components, and the one most essential to finding happiness, is the Id; the question, “is my heart in the right place?” To ensure happiness, I must live my life according to the true desires of my heart, and the motivations of my heart must be untainted to ensure that my actions reflect who I am as a person, and what I believe in, and not just the mere projections of my environment.

Secondly, to ensure the happiness I have achieved from being true to my heart’s desires is maintained, I must direct that energy towards a clear direction- this is the purpose of my Ego. By keeping a clear direction, and by sticking to it at all costs, I can optimize my life so as to fulfill as much of my potential as possible, thereby ensuring the spiritual and psychological continuity necessary for my happiness to continue, and even to intensify over time.

Thirdly, so that I will only expect that which can be reasonably achieved, that I can consummate my successes in such a way that will compliment rather than depreciate from the the happiness of others, and– most importantly– so that my actions will follow through to the end, not in any way stopping short of the intended objectives, I need to muster the resolve necessary to satisfy the ends to which my heart means to accomplish today, this year, and over the course of the rest of my life. This duty is the responsibility of my Super Ego

To live a happy and satisfying life, it is essential that I know myself– to know my motivations, my direction in life, and to have a resolve fitting of the life I intend to lead, and of the accomplishments I want to consummate. Without this complete knowledge of myself, and the conviction thereof, I will only be cheating myself of the happiness and fulfillment that I deserve, and that it is both my duty and honor to live out, as one made in the image of God.

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