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October 10, 2010

It has been my own tradition (for without personal tradition one is dependent upon the traditions of a corrupt society) to act according to my beliefs *except* when those beliefs cause me to be antisocial. Because much of what is considered to be “antisocial” is subjectively decided, I can be very stubborn when it comes to my behavior, but when multiple cases of such interference come to my attention, I decide to modify which beliefs I will manifest, and which beliefs will reside in the ethereal plane.

Unfortunately, most people tend to be very hypocritical, and so it is that the greatest challenge for me in regards to maintaining good social relations lies not in what is said, but in what is not said. The unsaid rules of social interaction. For example, in social interactions it’s important to be honest by not candid, constructive but not critical, caring but not confrontational.

The social norms, not only of America but of the whole world, demand that everything we do be conditional; absolute character is unacceptable. I cannot be absolutely honest, for then my candidness will hurt other people. I cannot be absolutely loving, for if I do I will be perceived as “creepy” at best, and  a murderous stalker at worst. I cannot be absolutely caring, for if I was my actions would be seen as interference, and my character as an asshole, snitch, teacher’s pet, prick, etc. The social norms of most societies put limits on how much one can express any given personality trait, and to ignore such limits is perceived by everyone (except those who have antisocial beliefs themselves) as being antisocial.

My beliefs are idealistic and unconditional. I believe in absolute everything, and the expression thereof, and so I am at odds with society. My absolute honesty hurts others, my absolute caring heart (when I choose to express it) causes people to hate me, and even for them to think that I hate them, and my love (which I seldom ever truly express), when I have expressed it, causes people to fear for their own safety, because the weight of my passion overwhelms them.

Apparently most people cannot handle raw expression, needing a filter (society) to dumb it down for them. It’s no wonder that most people can’t appreciate true art, be it in paintings, film, animation, poetry, fiction, or music. They can’t appreciate it because they are unable to handle it. Most people have so been isolated from raw beauty by the society they live in, that they perceive beauty as barbaric, and art as chaos. The people of this world, so dependent on society to dilute the world we live in, cannot even appreciate true beauty anymore, because it is too intense for them.

Yes, I am saying that my true self is antisocial because I am closer in character to what might be considered true beauty. The light of my life, which I so long to shine before the world in all its magnificence, is too bright for the world to appreciate, and so it is that my true self is seen not as a light, but as a torch that threatens to burn the world to ash. So it is, that I am by my own nature antisocial.

But of course, I am not antisocial, because I do not express those parts of myself, but merely hint at them as a sort of inside joke. I satirize, that even my bad parts might be deemed acceptable. I love, am candid, and care, but only to the extent that I can get away with. The conditions bestowed upon all members of society, I do not follow, but neither do I disregard. I recognize that although I do not agree with these unsaid rules, the majority of the world does, and so I need to take into account social dynamics if I am to be at peace with the world. I use do not follow these rules, but instead exploit and manipulate them into such a compromise that I can be somewhat content with.

Although I cannot change the norms of society, as unfair and hypocritical as they might be, I will continue to pretend, that I might gradually interpret these laws into a more virtuous form. Hopefully the world will follow my example (and the example of others like me) and do the same. After all, there is no reason why I should have to be antisocial to be virtuous.

One Comment leave one →
  1. ShadesOfGreer permalink
    February 15, 2014 7:27 am

    Couldn’t have said it better myself (:

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