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Who Am I?

August 7, 2010

There is an aphorism (I’m loving that word lately!) that “people are the product of their environment.” As much as I hate to admit it, this statement is very true; in fact, so true that I still don’t who I am, because I’m too busy trying to figure who I’m not.

For those of us “in the world but not of it”– that is, individuals who choose to accept the reality they live in, but not partake of its “customs” (i.e. norms)– the question “Who Am I?” is perhaps the scariest question we could ever ask ourselves, because the answer inevitably leads to the same pathetic result every time: I don’t know.

Yeah sure, I have a fairly good idea of how other view me (which I didn’t before), and I also have a roughly sufficient idea of who I want to be…but I don’t know who I really am, right now.

The only way out of this Hell of unknowns that I have become immersed into is simple, but very risky: If I am to know who I am, I must forge that reality– that self– of my own resolve, and will my own will. If I wish to be in the world but not of it, I must create for myself a person who, although independent with the world, is somehow still compatible with it.

That is after all the reason why I started Ego Engineering.

But still the chicken-egg paradox remains: How can I decide who I will be, if I do not know who I am? The solution draws upon the aphorism which I so hated before, but which now provides for me a way out: I am a product of my environment!

If I am a product of my environment, then that would mean that by changing my environment, I change who I am. Furthermore, if I were to solidify and clarify what my environment is, it would in turn result in me solidifying and clarifying who I am. If I want to know who I am, I know what I must do now: I must condition my environment to be consistent with who I am– and more importantly, who I will be.

Who am I? I am what I believe in.

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