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Deciding the Future

June 28, 2010

When I think about my future, I can see it clearly– it all makes sense! I can tell you what’s going to happen 2, 5, 10, and even 20 years from now in vivid detail, and it’s a future worth having– a future worth working toward.

But there’s one problem: I have more than one future!

Every time that I contemplate the future, there’s always at least 4-5 different futures to choose from. They are all good futures, but I can’t have all of them. I can’t be dominating the world by living in a small town. And I can’t raise the perfect child by dominating the world. Nor can I have the most loving relationship with my future wife and still put my 100% into raising the perfect child.

It just doesn’t work that way– I have to find a way to prioritize these different futures of mine, lest they cancel each other out and I am left will no future at all.

Even as I think about the future, and know with surety that the events I envision will come to pass, there is an intense and lingering anxiety that plagues me– the feeling that my present path does not match my future. It’s like I have a future, but the path that I am presently leading will not take me to my future…if i were to go my present route, I would only venture further into the unknown void, my own uncertainties about the future causing the very self-sabotage that I sought to prevent.

One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned in the past few years, is that nothing good comes of compromise.

Regardless of what your idea of success is, if you don’t go after that ideal with your whole heart, you are only cheating yourself. Perfection isn’t about how great or how unique or how independent your life is. Perfection is about taking the life you are living, and live that life to the best of your ability.

Everyone has their limitations as a person– I know this all too well. But fortunately, it’s not the scope of one’s life that makes a person great– it’s how good of a steward they are of the life they did choose for themselves (or in many cases, the life chosen for them).

So if I expect to have a good future– a happy future– I can’t have multiple futures. I need to decide! Which of these futures am I going to manifest?

No more compromising– just choose a future, and live life already!

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