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The Real Me

June 19, 2010

Something that I’ve always struggled with, is being misunderstood.

People that know me (or should I say, think they know me) expect that I, like other people, have a static existence.

I do have such a character as this– one that can be measured, calculated, analyzed, predicted, and reliably known.

But that character, as I wish so very much for people to understand, is not the real me.

The real me is an adventurer, an explorer, a curious soul. I am a learner, a scientist, a thinker, a romantic. I am kind and peaceful– yes, but I am also mischievous and ambitious. I am very passionate about what I belief and what I do.

I love everyone and everything in this world to the fullest, and it pains me that this love is so very paradoxical. For one that loves all cannot be all– I am only one person, and all of the compromising in the world cannot change my own physical and psychological limitations.

I love you, just as I love me– but often my loves for everything and everyone else will get in the way.

I cannot know you, even as I cannot know me…but all the same, I want to know you– I want to know. For with knowledge comes intimacy and truth…

To know truly is to truly love, and so I wish to know all that is so that I might know what I am loving…that my love might also be truth, and that the truth that my love holds might be meaningful.

I am an abstract entity– one that is mysterious and meaningful. But just like π, I am infinite in nature and exist only to the extent to which I am known.

And known I am not, and so my existence is inherently illusionary.

It is this illusionary existence, however, that makes my life so beautiful!

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