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Parental Affirmation

April 21, 2010

I was watching the movie “Catch me if you can” the other day, when I realized the the main character suffered from the same problem I did: a lack of expectations from his father. We both hated our fathers for the same reason; my dad, no matter how much I plead with him to have expectations of me, and to actively enforce those expectations, hides from the situation rather than dealing with it– unwilling to take responsibility for my life, and thus leaving my life to chance.

He doesn’t realize his power over my life as a father, and the importance of him using that power. He had already decided that because we have different interests, different weaknesses and strengths, and different personalities, that he has no right to have any say on how I live my life.

Because I currently have no one else to look up to, and have very little expectations of myself, my life weighs on his expectations of me; thus, because he expects nothing, I am nothing.

Now, this is an irresponsible way of looking at it, and perhaps what I need most right now is independence and self-discipline, but it still is crucially important that parents understand the gravity of the role that they play in their children’s growth, maturity, and personal success.

There are many things I want to do in my life, but I lack the discipline to effectively do any of them. I’ve got a lot of uncontrolled, ultimately wasted energy and creativity– wanting to so much, but lacking the foundation and self-discipline to actualize these desires.

Because my self-esteem is low and my self-discipline is lacking, I rely on my dad to provide these deficiencies. I expect my father to provide this much-needed direction, and hate him for not meeting this expectation. It’s quite the paradox, as you can see.

I’m actively trying to show my dad how much his guidance makes a difference in my life (and presently, the lack thereof); parents should affirm their will for their children pro-actively, leaving nothing to chance or “fate”. This is by far the best way any parent can show their love for their children, and it is also the best way a person can show their love for their partner, even if the relationship is only mere romance.

My interest in the effect of expectations on the end results started with my post “Video Games and Love”, and to this day, I still hold to the premise that expectations should be the most important priority when it comes to personal growth and development, and especially when it comes to parenting.

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