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Actualization Through Habit

April 12, 2010

I am a very impatient person, and so although I am very talented,  my abilities are mostly limited to that which I can accomplish immediately. In other words, I thrive on instant gratification, and stagnate when in comes to anything that requires long-term planning.

As a result, I have become an avid student of bullshit, which requires no more than minute knowledge, and can be made to work wonders using language, despite no actual education in the field.

But because of the very minute nature of the lifestyle I lead, I myself have no future, having made myself to be incapable of anything outside the moment in which I live.

Over time, this lifestyle has begun to noticeably distort my reality, causing each day appear to be no different than a dream, as since each day is bound to the moment, every new day becomes a different dream, only sharing a semblance with the day before as projected by the realities of those around me; because they do have a reality outside the moment, their projections of reality end up being the only thing in my own mind that separates “reality” from the dream world.

If I were to be completely alone them, there would be not difference, as everything, both in reality and dream, would be done in the moment– a disconnected series of memories, blurring into the fabric of time.

It is then abundantly clear that if I am to truly have a future, I must practice actualization not through in-the-moment bullshit, but through habit. This is the way of the world, and the means through which Society is able to exist. It is what we often refer to as “discipline”

To discipline oneself through conformance to norms, dedication to one’s beliefs, binding oneself to traditions– of the country, culture, religion, family, workplace, and of the self. To find friends that will reinforce these norms, and to develop a true sense of value and dedication to reproducing the expectations of these friends.

That’s what it’s all really about– Expectations. Willing the future into being through actualization of what one expects. You know that it should be, must be, and will be….and so, it is.

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