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Virtue of the Borg

April 10, 2010

This whole project of self-corruption in the  name of original truth (which some might argue is an oxymoronic) has finally come to and end, as I transition into this cool thing called self-actualization. It’s the point in my life where I stop being a philosopher and start being successful.

But what then, is success? I never wanted money, or power, or even the so-called universal want of sex. I just want to be me, and for that self to be validated. Now, no amount of logic will ever be enough to bring about the level of self-validation I desire (in fact, even God himself could not bring it about!), So it’s up to me to find that validation for myself, and make it happen.

I’ve just about finished the self-analysis aspect of this reality (which took the form of th3g1vr). The next aspect– or, to allude to Serial Experiments Lain– the next layer of my life, is now beginning. It has been a long chapter- I would say far too long. But alas,  now come the inevitable question “Now what?”

I’ve developed a very good understanding of who I am to myself, but what of the world? “In the world but not of it”, a Bible verse I have oft-quoted to myself– perhaps it would be wise to, at least for a time, become part of the world.

I have never been part of the world,  not once in my life. I suppose at one time I thought I was, but in retrospect, I was merely living a waking dream, not aware that I was not in reality, and nothing to yet interfere with that naivety, as I was floating.

But I am slowly learning the ways of this wretched world, and although I do not agree with them, I can live by them, if only a little for now.

What motivates me to participate in and become familiar with these trivialities and mislead notions? It is because this is the other side of the coin.

Within this borg that Is Society is the key to becoming free from it, for in order to understand and appreciate anything, one must also understand and appreciate its opposite.

I was never part of Society, nor can I truly ever be. I can convince Society I am part of it, but just as one who is freed from the Matrix, there is no going back for me. But the only difference: I was never part of it to begin with. I was born free, and according to Sartre, am condemned to be free.

Because I have something closer to what might be considered freewill, I am cursed to be alienated from Society, and cannot share in the bliss of its ignorance.

The best I can do is pretend.

So it is natural then, that I hate Society. I am jealous of it, because it has the one and only thing that I have, and as of yet lack: validation. And it is because of Society that I cannot achieve that validation, because it is because Society is valid that I, who am not part of Society, am invalid.

But nevertheless, if I am to change Society that my own validation might be achieved, I must first learn to understand and appreciate the Society that Is. For only then will I, having seen both sides of the coin, be amply prepared to bring about the positive change necessary to reconcile myself with the world that I live it.

It will be difficult to appreciate the Virtue of the Borg, but I must if I am to complete the next layer on this journey of mine to achieve self-actualization– the materialization of nirvana, as it were

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