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Ode to Academia

March 20, 2010

The past few years have been quite tumultuous for me, as I strive to exceed all expectations that both others and myself have for me. I have begun to run before I walked, and so great is my shock in stumbling that I am still not fully aware of the dilemma I now face. That dilemma being a lack of education.

In my chaotically uncontrolled pursuit of greatness, my pride has driven me to attempt to supersede reality itself, in favor of an idealism that I myself do not understand.

But I now understand, at the very least, that idealism, and especially the kind that I intend to implement, cannot be forced– it must be willed into being (I must want it to be, with all of my heart.

Furthermore, desire alone cannot create anything but chaos (which itself does not exist in an identifiable form, existing only as a convoluted mass which we call chaos because another label cannot be accurately applied.

There must be a design (resolve) upon which to apply this desire, and furthermore, a commitment to stabilize the charge in which that design resides.

If I am to achieve all of my dreams, there are prerequisites to be fulfilled. Even now, I am incredibly naive, and ignorant about most things– even those things that I am passionate about most.

By closing my mind to the education of others, I have limited myself to my own perception, thus being but a poor misled mind with a mostly-wasted creativity, of little use to the world.

If I am to be of use to the world, I must become one with it, and thrive off the education given me by generations past, as well as the contemporary generation.

If they are to understand my words, I must first understand theirs (that of the world)- so rather than making a naive judgement of the world, saying that their knowledge is useless to me, because they are ignorant of the true nature of things, recognize that I myself are ignorant, with the only real difference being that I have the knowledge of that ignorance, and strive to overcome it.

Other than that, there is no difference between me and the world– we all possess the same inferior humanity. But perhaps (and this we must also appreciate) that inferiority is what makes us so beautiful.

In light of these things, and recognizing that my own knowledge is merely the endowment with which I was given by the Whole (which in turn means that it is not my knowledge, but the knowledge of the world to whom I have been made steward of), I should strive more to learn more– if only for the sake of this knowledge.

Through my continued education (of which I was such an avid student many years past) I will gain more knowledge of many things, and it is through this knowledge that I will empower myself to attain all those things that I so desire.

Everything is possible with desire, but only if I am willing to attain the knowledge required to solidify this direction, and the resolve to commit to it.

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