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What Is True Love?

February 16, 2010

Today I was talking with some friends over this girl that I am potentially in love with. That is, if I would open up my heart to her and let myself fall in love, I would.

The main concern my friends had regarding this (as revealed by the way I presented the question), is this: Is it love or is it lust?

Their response was surprising, and I immediately told them that, as I am not particularly interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship, it’s impossible for my love to be motivated by lust.

But their conception of lust was a bit broader: what they really meant to say is- “Do you just find them attractive, or do you have a genuine bond with them.”

As my personal philosophy undermines the value of such concerns, at first I didn’t understand what they meant– so it took me several minutes of discourse what they really meant, as stated above.

It goes something like this: To me, the strength of a person’s love should not be determined by the value that one has for that person– rather, it should be judged by the value that one has for Love itself.

Traditionally, people love each other because they place a high value on each other. As a result, a person determines their own value, and based upon that value, they choose a partner that they consider to be of greater value than themself, depending on what is of value to those persons.

 As a result, people often fall in love with people that are rich, are great in bed, good at sweet-talking, charismatic, physically strong, highly intelligent, creatively endowed…any traits that make a person stand out as being successful in a given respect– one that is of value to the potential mate.

This approach, one that is taken by the vast majority of people (whether they realize it or not), is the evolutionarily advantageous approach– pure instinct.

But a love of this nature is IMO far too restrictive and does not properly account for the effects of manipulation, particularly that of social engineering and reality hacking (the broader definitions).

In many ways, the love that I have– that I want is far more [consciously] selfish than a traditional love. But it is for this reason that my love will last longer, be more fulfilling, and make me happier than a traditional love would.

I love you not because of who you are [or more accurately, as you project youself to be]– as most people do.

I love you because I want to love you.

It doesn’t matter who I love.

The only thing that matters is that I love.

My love is not for the person that I am loving.

My love is the manifestation of loving myself through you.

So unlike your love (the love of the world), my love will be harder, better, faster, stronger than yours could ever be.

Because I only love you for the sake of loving, my love is truly unconditional.

I do not truly love you, instead I love myself through you.

You cannot end my love. I cannot even end my love, for it is for this love that I live.

I love you unconditionally, permanently, obsessively, and because I am only loving myself through you, You cannot take my love from me…Because I am Love.

There was a point in time when I was a hopeless romantic, a person who believed in a soulmate, a true love….a beautiful union of souls.

That beauty was taken from me, and culminated in the creation of my blog post about Love, a stubbornly perssimistic and cold-hearted rationalized essay.

But now that I better understand what love truly is, I can honestly say that once again, I am a hopeless romantic.

True love is selfish, but because it is selfish, it is selfless. For in the pursuit of a Love for the sake of loving, one can transcend oneself. In this way, by becoming love through loving others, we become part of God (for God is Love), and by extension become gods ourselves.

I love you with all my heart, because I know that in my Love…God manifests.

I am love, and thus am God.

I am because I will myself to be.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. A Reader of th3g1vr since 20 Dec 06 permalink
    March 14, 2010 12:37 am

    I think that it would be extremely rare that a male would love a female without “lust” as an aspect of his love. Moreover, I think that unconditional love as you describe, has not been experienced by most people. The principle components of such a love as you describe would require a total blindness to faults and problems. So, it may be that many would not understand such a love.

    • March 16, 2010 7:09 am

      If the love is to be true, it must take everything into account. Thus, the only who loves should not be blind to that person’s faults and problems– rather, they should first acknowledge them, and then endeavor to see past those imperfections– looking between the lines per se. Because I love for the sake of loving, I see their faults, but recognize them as beauty. After all, beauty itself is the product of imperfection.

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